An odd feeling

Tristan has broke his arm... I am not sure what I feel... I was very sad for him during the painful parts of breaking his arm. I was frustrated with the medical unsystem. And I was fascinated at the x-rays and the way they fixed his arm, the medicine they used, the vibe running through the hospital. And I was feeling the way some parents feel when their children return from grad party, like my treasure which I cultivated had grown and passed through a rite of passage. Odd... I feel, breaking an arm is not a rite of passage, or maybe it is. I felt strange at the mixture of feelings...I imagine the perfect mom where ever she be would only feel sadness and would be shocked at my feelings. I was very impressed with Tristan's strength and resilience throughout his ordeal. I was also taken by his compassion for others in pain and his own interest in his x-rays and the intelligence his questions showed. I was also happy that Tristan and I shared this experience. I can not remember the last time that Tristan and I cuddled for 8 hours straight. In the car between hospitals (yes, there was two), Tristan said that he wanted to cuddle at the next hospital. I remember when Tristan was little I held him all the time, literally. One time I held/nursed him for 6 hours straight. Now that Tristan is older we sadly cuddle little. Tristan will often ask to be cuddled at bedtime. Many times I will feel frustrated with his requested due to over cuddling from Bowen. This experience reminds me that Tristan and I need more cuddle time..period. Tristan has been asking all